Hi, it's Jhett. Being the youngest cousin, (at least until October when Bryanna is going to be a big sister) I have lots of good examples to look up to. Like at Uncle Jeff's birthday party. (I won't tell you how old he turned but check out how many fingers I'm holding up for a hint.)
My cousins felt obligated to teach me some of life's most important lessons for me to pass on when the new little one arrives.So here are the lessons:
On Dining Etiquette
If an adult happens to glance your way while you are dining, always cooperate. Chew with your mouth open so the adults can see that you are really eating your food and not a staple you found on the floor.
Lesson #2:
It's important that you appear to enjoy sitting still and eating your vegetables. This will burst any bubbles of suspicion adults might be forming when they notice your dessert is already gone. 
Lesson #3:
It's okay to make a mess while eating. This shows the chef you really enjoyed your meal. 
Lesson #4:
Never ever use utensils when eating. Always use your hands. Utensils are sharp and therefore dangerous. You could poke your neighbor's eye out while reaching over to grab a strawberry off his plate. 
Lesson #5:
When finished dining, dump your plate on the floor or just leave it on the table. This way the dog can clean up the leftovers and you save Mom and Dad money on dog food. 
On Cleaning:
Lesson #1:
When cleaning, try out every item to make sure it works properly. 
Lesson #2:
Walk carefully. You haven't had that much practice at it and a noisy toy might startle you into tripping. 
Lesson #3:
It's important to do a thorough job. Don't leave any box unturned. Dump everything into the middle of the room for easier sorting. 
Lesson #4:
Don't be afraid to ask for a helping hand. 
Lesson #5:
Learn how to use your watch and keep track of time. It passes quickly when you are busy. Don't be surprised if you don't get everything done before bedtime; you'll likely have to leave a big portion of the mess for tomorrow. 
On Cooking:
Lesson #1:
Make the guy do the grocery shopping. Send him with careful instructions. Make sure he knows the cart should be filled with food, not electronics. 
Lesson #2:
Make sure your cooking space is clean. (See above Lessons 1-5 "On Cleaning".) 
Lesson #3:
Oven mitts are confusing and really not necessary, since you aren't allowed around anything hot anyway. Ditch the oven mitt and stick with the stirring spoons. 
Lesson #4:
Tell Mom or Dad whether you want mac & cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. 
...Make sure you accompany the request with an "I love you" or (if you can't talk yet), give your best smile. 
Methods of Transportation
Lesson #1:
Never ride bikes. They are dangerous and you will fall off and get hurt. When an adult tries to force you to ride one, make your legs limp so they can't position you properly on the bike. 
Lesson #2:
If you are riding your 4-wheeler close to a swimming pool, make sure you yell "HELP" as loud as you can. If you can't talk yet, just scream. Parents appreciate it when you remind them that they need to watch you at all times. When everyone is standing around just to watch you, feel free to start having fun. 
Lesson #3:
When riding outside, it's important to pretend you can't hear adults. They are probably only calling you inside and if you break your concentration, you might run over somebody. 
Lesson #4:
If there is an adult around to give you a ride, never turn it down. They love the exercise. 
Lesson #5:
If your adult chauffeur starts to look grumpy and tired from pulling you around, it's probably because they wish they could get more exercise. Pile more kids in (even if they act reluctant) and make sure they get rides, too.
Lesson #6:
Get as much use out of your chauffeur as you can before it breaks down. Carpooling is better for the environment. 
Lesson #7:
When your ride breaks down, hitch one with the nearest adult. It's not as fun but it's effective and comfortable. 
At the End of the Day
Lesson #1:
Check your vitals. If everything is ok, it's time for bed. 
Lesson #2:
Find a comfortable spot to lie down. This is generally somewhere soft, like a lap or a couch. 
...But anywhere will do. 
That's it for the lessons! So now I know how to be a good example when my new little cousin arrives. 
In fact I already know some of the lessons pretty well.....
No comments:
Post a Comment